people have difficulty admitting the role
anger plays in their emotions because
they mistakenly assume that anger is virtually
always accompanied by loud shouting or
bitter speech. Seeing that they do not
do such things, they can reason that anger
is not an issue. If you are going to gain
an understanding into the nature of anxiety,
you'll need to stay away from such reasoning.
Virtually always when a person experiences
ongoing anxiety, anger plays a role. Once
the anger is suppressed it then becomes
the seed for tension. This then feeds
the anxiety. To get an idea if you have
suppressed anger that feeds anxiety, look
over the following statements.
ideas about how others could be more
respectful toward me, but I keep them
to myself, reasoning that it would
do no good to speak about it.
often I fall into a people pleasing
mode, hoping I can get people off
my back that way.
seem to know that they can out-argue
me, that I'll usually give in.
my only moments of peace come when
shut down when it is obvious that
a conflict is forthcoming.
I finally talk about my needs, I feel
that I am not very articulate in explaining
I'll mull my conflicts over and over,
though that does not necessarily mean
I'll do anything about them.
people in my life are insensitive
and I have found no good response
I am deliberately stubborn and won't
speak to the person with whom I am
are times when I just stew and fume
about my problems, and I can't get
my thoughts of frustration off my
have times when we're not exactly sure
what to do with our frustrations, so it
would be unusual if you could not identify
with any of the above statements. The
more of these statements you could identify
with, the more you are probably holding
in your anger to your detriment. It would
be beneficial if you could learn to be
more open about your legitimate needs
and convictions. Even if others do not
agree with you, that should not stop you
from having firmness. Be honest about
who you are.