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Once people pleasers
recognize the ways they shoot themselves
in the foot, they can determine to opt
out of the excessively compliant role.
First they need to be mentally prepared
to face the challenge. Look over the following
statements and determine how many of them
you would be willing to embrace:
| 1. |
I can see that firmness on my part
is long overdue. It is a quality I
want more of. |
| |
|
| 2. |
My convictions
are generally sound, to the point
of being truly trustworthy. |
| |
|
| 3. |
Too much of my
emotional energy is spent trying to
make others happy. That needs to change.
|
| |
|
| 4. |
I'm ready to admit
that if others are overbearing, it
may be their problem to solve, not
mine. |
| |
|
| 5. |
Even
if others interpret me wrongly, I
need to proceed with my best determinations.
|
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|
| 6. |
I
know that I can continue to be thoughtful
even as I am also more decisive. |
| |
|
| 7. |
I
have a purpose for my life that is
well thought-out, and that I am determined
to pursue. |
| |
|
| 8. |
It
is necessary for me to voice my opinions
and preferences, not because I want
to be pushy, but because I have good
things to offer. |
| |
|
| 9. |
When
others try to entice me to live outside
my boundaries, I can see that I am
being responsible to stick to my convictions.
|
| |
|
| 10. |
I
consider openness or genuineness as
a quality that I am very committed
to. |
Hopefully,
you can affirm each of the above statements.
As you realize that you have good reasons
to act in ways that are most consistent
with your own values, you can still be
a pleasing person without also having
to let others dictate your decisions.
If you could only affirm five or fewer
of the above statements, I would encourage
you to rethink the appropriateness of
firmness and assertiveness. It is likely
that you are selling your own good virtues
short.
Let's keep in mind that
uniqueness and differentness are good
qualities in any relationship. Rather
than forcing yourself to conform to a
mold that others may insist that you fill,
it would be good for you to allow yourself
the privilege to be truly one of a kind!
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