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Look over the following
items, checking the ones that might apply
to you on a fairly frequent basis:
| 1. |
I have opinions about right and wrong,
yet I will not always stand firm when
faced with a persuasive person. |
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|
| 2. |
I can be motivated
by guilt. |
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|
| 3. |
It really bothers
me if I have upset someone. |
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|
| 4. |
I feel that I try
harder to make relationships work
than others do. |
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|
| 5. |
People
would be surprised to know about the
resentment that is bottled up inside
me. |
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|
| 6. |
When
another person is angry I go into
the appeasement mode. |
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|
| 7. |
If
my decisions are called into question,
I feel I'd better have a good justification.
|
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| 8. |
When
I do something for my own pleasure,
I may feel selfish. |
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|
| 9. |
Too
often, I'll do someone else's chores
because they won't do them. |
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|
| 10. |
Sometimes
I just try too hard to be nice. |
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|
| 11. |
I
have to tread lightly due to key people
who are moody. |
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| 12. |
It
seems my world is full of requirements
and duties. |
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|
| 13. |
With
certain people, I find myself measuring
my words very carefully.
|
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| 14. |
Even
when I am nice to others, it seems
that they still want more. |
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| 15. |
There
are times when I just give up on being
taken seriously or feeling understood. |
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| 16. |
I
can let people determine too much
of my schedule or priorities. |
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| 17. |
Too
often, I explain my reasoning over
and over, even though it is clear
that the other person won't hear what
I have to say. |
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| 18. |
I
have stayed in bad relationships long
after I knew they were good for me.
|
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| 19. |
Being
firm can be hard for me at times. |
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| 20. |
It
seems that others will accept me only
as long as I conform to their ways.
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Most of us have circumstances
when we bend too far in the direction
of other peoples' whims or demands. However
if you find yourself doing this too frequently,
it is likely that your people pleasing
is likely to be your own downfall.
If you responded to five or less of these
statements, people pleasing is probably
not a dominant trait. In fact, you may
lean more in a headstrong direction.
If you responded to
six to nine of the statements, you may
have moments when your people pleasing
produces some compromising moments, although
it should be expected that you have enough
of a mind of assertiveness to keep you
from feeling chronically swamped by others'
demands.
If you responded to
ten or more of the statements, you are
likely to have frequent moments when you
are too accommodating for your own good.
There is a strong likelihood that you
set aside your own good preferences for
the sake of keeping others off your back,
and it is likely that those efforts do
not produce rewarding results.
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